07 Apr A Phar-fetched Story
G’day legends, did you know that I’m the greatest racehorse of all time?
Back when I was a young fella I went through a stage where I had four legs and silky ginger fur all over me, and galloped around the world’s most famous tracks. Yeah, some teenagers get tattoos, others become punks or goths, I decided to become a racehorse.
I called myself Phar Lap, which is an anagram of Don Stubbs, and won the Melbourne Cup and the Cox Plate and everything else I raced in. Pretty impressive stuff, because I was also selling bucket loads of my custom-printed, triple-stitched stubby coolers between races. I even went on a trip over to America, where I won heaps more races and became a worldwide celebrity.
Eventually I had to make the tough decision to give up my career as a race horse to focus on my booming stubby cooler business. Not wanting to face the throng of disappointed horse fans, I ducked back to Australia in the dead of night, leaving the world to come up with all sorts of conspiracy theories about what happened to me.
I look fondly upon my days as a horse, and when I’m feeling nostalgic I have a trot around Moonee Valley for old time’s sake.
I had to make the tough decision to give up my career as a race horse to focus on my booming stubby cooler business.